Sometimes, I am quite eloquent in my thinking, at least, I think I am. And other times, most times, I am quite scatterbrained--thus, the title of this blog. Today, I am more on the scatterbrained side of things. Much has happened in the last six months, events both big and small, and since this morning, I've been reflecting on a lot...
-One decision I made recently was quite large. Who goes away to an acclaimed university with the blessing of scholarship for all four years, attends for one quarter, than moves home? I did. It took some long, sleepless nights to think/pray through the decision to come home. I knew I would have to explain the whys and hows to many people who disagreed with my decision. I knew that there would be LOADS of paperwork and phone calls and emails that would have to be made, sent out, and filled out. I knew that I was in a situation that many people would love to be in, but never get the opportunity to do. Yet, the peace I feel now is so reassuring, and I feel that going away for four months made me realize how much I do love this place I've called home, and do call home, for the better part of my life.
-I have also been pondering/wrestling with/being haunted by the fact of how short this life on earth is. Seriously. When the Bible talks about how we are but vapors in the wind or flowering grass that will fade away, it's terribly and wonderfully true. I am at a time in my life where I'm figuring out where I want to go, what I want to do, and how I can bring God the most glory (which is actually a somewhat selfish motive because "bringing glory to God" and "delighting in Him" is the ultimate purpose in man, according to the Bible, so I know that I will find the most purpose when I'm bringing glory to Him),while also delighting in Him. There are so many dreams I have that I yearn to be able to accomplish in my short time here. Hebrews talks about how many great men and women of the Bible were heavenly-minded and received the fullness of God's promises to them only after they died and went to Heaven. God's covenant and promise to Abraham began while Abraham was alive, but has truly been fulfilled thousands of years after his death. "But as it is, they desired a better country"--Heaven. What am I doing now that will be of lasting value? Am I investing my time/energy/love/emotion/work into earthly, perishable things, or am I investing in things that will last? This life is so short. Fiddlesticks!
-I love the sun. It has been sunny and clear of clouds here in P-town for the last week, and the vitamin D and endorphins that have been released in my body due to the sun is quite appreciated. So the wind chill brings the temperature down to what feels like twenty degrees. I don't care. The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. That's all I need. And just for the nostalgic effect, I let down my hair, turned country radio on, and rolled the windows down as I drove out in the "no speed limit zone" country yesterday. It was quite glorious until I couldn't feel my ears anymore due to the cold. Oh well. Summer is just around the corner...
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