You may figure it out, but you don't live in my heart, so you probably won't know it in its entirety...

It's no use trying to shove them inside.

They'll just resurface months down the road

and reveal secrets about you 

that you didn't want to know.

It's no use trying to run away or hide.

They'll eventually seek you out and find you

at the worst, most terrible time.

I, myself, swept them under the carpet.

I locked them in the darkest, deepest closet.

I put them in the safe of my heart

and thought no one would ever know.

I dug a hole and dropped them in,

shoveled the dirt of denial and covered them.

I believed with much conviction

that I'd never see them again.

But now it's months later,

and I'm faced with this sin.

This gross, decaying, disgusting sin,

and it dares to pop its head out

with a leer and a grin.

It dares to push through

my barriers built strong.

It dares to accuse me 

of being wrong.

Well, I am

wrong

in the strongest sense.

I just don't want to hear it.

I'm not ready for that yet.

I am

wrong

for not dealing directly

with the issues of my life

that are so infecting.

And now I have a choice,

I have a decision to make,

and I'm ready to be rid of it.

I'm ready to break.

I'm ready to face

the consequences of my actions,

and I'm ready to feel healing

as He disciplines and chastens.

It's a funny thing

how we hold on so tight

to the things which destroy us,

in a blink of an eye.

For me, it was three months,

three months of denial.

But I'm ready to be led now

by Him for a while.

And I pray that the while

will turn into forever.

I pray that I never lose sight of Him.

Ever.